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Asked by anon-188260 to Pizza Ka Yee, Paul, Nadine, Alex on 15 Nov 2018.
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Alex Reid answered on 15 Nov 2018: last edited 15 Nov 2018 4:53 pm
Hi Iona, great question. I think you might have asked us this twice! I have moved my answer here as well for you. Dementia can be caused by a number of things but the results are often similar: the slow deterioration of a loved one, their memories and everything that makes them ‘them’ fades away. It can be very difficult to see a close relative forget who you are if you are their friend, child or partner. On top of this dementia is also sometimes accompanied by mood swings and depression in the patient which makes the poor person with it suffer and difficult to manage. If this all wasn’t bad enough towards the end they will also need a lot of care. This takes a huge amount of energy and sacrifice on the part of the relative or carer of the afflicted. It can also be financially expensive if a lot of care is needed, so that can be a huge drain too. Dementia, and diseases that cause it such as Alzheimer’s, are a blight on humanity and no one deserves it (the patient nor the relative).
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Nadine Mirza answered on 16 Nov 2018:
This is a very good question Iona and something I’ve been trying to explore with the interviews I’ve been doing, not just with people with dementia but also the people caring for them such as their spouse or child.
What we often see is that the carers of those with dementia are at a higher risk of developing depression, anxiety or both and it’s unsurprising why given, as Alex said, the immense amount of sacrifice, time, effort and energy on their part.
The people around the person with dementia are often responsible for their health and safety, helping them maintain function and promoting their independence. Many of them have to constantly be jotting down notes, including little changes in behaviour, mood, personality, memory, abilities- literally anything, so that they can keep reporting back to doctors.
They also have to help arrange for all their medical care, help them arrange their legal affairs, ensure their home is safe to live in or check it for hazards- many describe it as having an infant all over again. All this stress and burden that is added to grieving over the loss of someone close to them (even though they aren’t physically dead they person they were may be gone) causes a lot of mental health difficulties for carers.
At the same time carers may be experiencing guilt at not being good enough or fear if they are biologically related to the person, in case they might also develop dementia. The support for carers, as compared to those with dementia, is limited, with many carers having to rely on each other for support.
All of this usually happens while trying to manage one’s own children and keep full time jobs and the toll often adds up and this can result in physical health problems for carers as well.
I’ve seen many instances for example of people with dementia whose spouses end up in hospital more than them for things like raised blood pressure due to the amount of stress they’re taking upon themselves.
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